January 11, 2007

Hall of Predictability

The hall of fame has selected two new members to garnish it's halls with bronze replicas of their beautiful, diverse faces. Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. (not Billy Ripken surprisingly) will forever be entombed at the Crypt of Fame in Cooperstown. While I am not complaining about this decision, both of these players deserve to be there, and lets face it, Cal Ripken is the ONLY man that A-Rod would allow to play Shortstop while he himself took care of the hot corner...er.....anyways, Don Mattingly did NOT get more votes than Mark McGuire and I would like to speak about this ridiculousness.

Lets compare:

-Don Mattingly's nickname is Donny Baseball.

-What is Mark McGuire's nickname? "Stupid Irish Red headed Over Muscled Dork." That is a direct quote taken from a teammate that preferred to be unnamed.

-Donny Baseball is a Bench Coach

-Mark McGuire is a fat bastard who ruined baseball.

-Donny Baseball has a sweet moustache.

-Mark Mcguire has some dumb college frat boy Goatee.

I think these reasons speak for themselves. Congratulations to Mr. Gwynn and Mr. Ripken Jr. on all their success, they smell terrific.

To Mr. McGuire i say, stop hitting juiced baseballs while on juice and ruining pure beautiful sports that some of us love and believe in, prick.

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